As I comb through my final projects and papers, I ponder the journey that has brought me to the end of my undergraduate degree. I won't lie; part of me wonders if it was all worth it: the late nights, the stress, the daycare, the stress, the tears, the stress.... All for a piece of paper I will stick in a very expensive frame and hang on my wall. All for the experience of walking across the stage knowing I have accomplished a goal that has given me more insight than a million therapy sessions could ever provide; a goal that has given me a creative outlet in writing; a goal that has given me the confidence to chase my dreams; a goal that has given me more friends than I would ever have expected. Yes, it's been an incredible journey, and yes, it was ALL worth it.
Walking away from my university identity will be bittersweet. I will miss the idiosyncrasies of university life, even the annoying ones. I will miss walking through the business building or the HSS and smiling at familiar faces, although I will never match them to names. I will miss the excitement, the tangible nervous energy during career fairs and finals week--the potential for greatness and the pretentious mentality that accompanies book smarts. I will miss the wierdo punks, the geniuses, the English nerds (like me), the scientists (who never see the light of day), and the ancient security guards who I once saw try to catch a skunk in a trash can. Everything, from the smell of old books in the library to the ginormous statue of an illegal immigrant crossing the Rio Grande (I'll never understand that statue) fills me with nostalgia as I try to imagine my life, my identity, missing this integral chunk.
I have become a chocolate-chip cookie, hot and malleable, waiting for life to dunk me in milk and take a bite. Or maybe I'm just hungry. Hard to tell. The point is that I am not sure where my journey will take me next. I've handed the steering wheel to fate. While my friends make five-year plans, I barely know what I will doing next month. If nothing else, my education has prepared me to expect the unexpected. I welcome the challenges of a career, and finally getting to enjoy being a mom. I embrace a future full of choices, which some people are not fortunate to have.
I will miss UTSA tremendously, but I am ready to hit the ground running and find whatever it is that will fill the void of university life.
Yes, it's all been worth it.
4 comments:
Congratulations! What an accomplishment! An education is so valuable in today's society. Now get out there and enjoy your freedom!!
Congrats! I think it was all worth it. It sounds like it was something that you needed and wanted to do. Way to stick it out and finish. I'm starting to wonder if I should. Now you are done, enjoy the time with your kids.
Yay! Congrats to you -- you have a degree and can iron on a soccer name! Wow, I am impressed! :)
Congratulations! That is seriously awesome.
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